Child custody is already as complicated as the battle of married couples who decide to divorce. Between unmarried couples, the complications of the custody battle move on to another level. There are entirely new and different issues in unmarried child custody cases.
The primary question is who gets custody of the child if the couple is never married?
Ordinarily, unmarried fathers often fight for contact and child custody visitation rights to their children. Unmarried mothers most often battle for child support from the father.
Unmarried fathers and child custody
Different states in the U.S. have different perspectives on child custody cases, especially between couples who are not married. In most states, however, the unmarried mother is awarded sole physical custody, unless the unmarried father makes moves against such decisions.
Often, the father is left with very few options at the start of the separation to have access to his child. This is assuming that the mother denies him access.
If the mother denies the father access to his child, the father will need to fight for such right through the family court. This would involve the establishing of his paternity of the child and subsequently, petitioning the court for his share of parental rights.
At best, the unmarried father can only gain some form of child custody and visitation rights. This is dependent, too, on the mother’s cooperative attitude on agreeing out of court settlements.
Unmarried mothers and child custody
In the case of unmarried mothers, most of their battles are often centered on the child’s financial support from the father.
Usually, paternity finding by a court is required before a father is forced to pay child support. Without it, it is impossible to enforce.
On the other hand, voluntary child support payment from the unmarried father without the paternity finding is on shaky grounds. If the father decides later to stop paying voluntarily, the unmarried mother cannot do anything.
Rights of unmarried fathers
Legally, the unmarried father faces an uphill battle in trying to gain access to his child. This is because he does not have the automatic right to spend time with his child compared to a married father.
When parents divorce or separate (whether married or unmarried), it is a common occurrence that the father is denied access to the children by the mother. When the issue is resolved in the courts, the issue of child support overpowers that of the father having to gain access to their children.
Nowadays, some lawyers argue that a mother denying the unmarried father access to the child may not be in the best interest of the child. This position would require explanation, and could be used against the mother if the custody is disputed.
An unmarried father would need to first establish his paternity (either by a signed voluntary declaration, or by filing a paternity action) before he can gain rights of access and responsibilities to his child or children. (This is true in California.)
All in all, child custody is a messy (and expensive) issue if the parties involved are not even married. Of course, things are way different if they are settled by the parents in the name of the children, and preferably outside of the court.
Child Custody Related Articles
- Being Strong During Child Custody Case
- Best Interests of the Child: The Key to Deciding Child Custody Cases
- Child Custody – Some Questions and Answers
- Child Custody And The Unmarried Couple
- Child Custody Rights Explained
- Child Custody Rights Of Mothers And Fathers
- Effective Tips to Win Your Child Custody Battle
- How the Courts Resolve Child Custody Disputes
- How To Cope After Losing A Child Custody Case
- How To File For A Child Custody Case
- Making Sure You Get Child Custody
- Preparing For A Child Custody Case
- Temporary Child Custody
- Tips for Helping Your Children Cope with Child Custody Battles
- Tips on Filing for Child Custody
- Treatments Options For Anxiety After Losing A Child Custody Case
- Types Of Child Custody
- Understanding Child Custody Laws: A Brief Guide for Divorced Parents
- Various Child Custody Options: Guide for Divorcing Parents
- What Are The Effects Of Child Custody Cases On Children
- What are Your Child Custody Rights as a Father?
- What Is Child Custody?
- What To Do When You Lose A Child Custody Case
- What You Need to Know about Temporary Child Custody
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Are you involved in a serious tug-of-war with your former spouse regarding the custody of your children? Child custody battles and arrangements can have an impact on your children. Help them cope with the situation by following these tips below.
1. Explain properly your reason for going to court.
Tell your children that you and their other parent are having difficulties reaching an agreement on what is best for them, so you are seeking the help of other people to figure it out. The lawyers and the judge will try their best to determine the best arrangement for the children.
Do not pretend that nothing is going on—your children deserves to know the truth especially if it will concern them in the future. Also, avoid showing your children that you are bitter about the situation and blaming your ex-spouse in front of them. Be honest, but explain the situation in positive terms. Be careful with the words you use so that your children will become calm and comfortable about the situation.
Create a fun and comfortable setting for your children when you explain to them about the divorce and custody arrangements. You can do it in a park or in a quiet spot in your home. Make sure that you will have plenty of time discussing about the situation so that your children can ask questions and get adequate answers.
2. Prepare your child for the court hearings.
This step is important if the judge wishes to talk to your children in private or if your children are required to testify in court. Let your children know what they should expect to happen so that they won’t be scared. You only need to explain that the judge wants to ask your children a few questions so that he can better understand the situation. Try to resist the urge to coach answers against your former spouse or pressure your child to answer according to what you told them because the judge can tell that right away. Just encourage your children to be honest and express what they really want to say.
3. Keep the best interests of your children in mind.
Remember, the court will decide according to the best interests of your children. For sure, you as your children’s parent want it as well. Keep that in mind because the custody hearing may get emotional and quite messy. If you are aiming for the best interests of your children and are doing it without any resentment and bitterness, the judge will take notice of and respect that. This kind of positive attitude will also give your children peace of mind, as they are spared from the tension and animosities between you and the other parent.
Your parenting skills are crucial in ensuring that your children will be able to cope with the child custody arrangements. If you calmly and sufficiently explain what is going on, prepare your child for the court hearing, and prioritize their best interests, then you and your children will be able to manage a stable custody agreement together.
Child Custody Related Articles
- Being Strong During Child Custody Case
- Best Interests of the Child: The Key to Deciding Child Custody Cases
- Child Custody – Some Questions and Answers
- Child Custody And The Unmarried Couple
- Child Custody Rights Explained
- Child Custody Rights Of Mothers And Fathers
- Effective Tips to Win Your Child Custody Battle
- How the Courts Resolve Child Custody Disputes
- How To Cope After Losing A Child Custody Case
- How To File For A Child Custody Case
- Making Sure You Get Child Custody
- Preparing For A Child Custody Case
- Temporary Child Custody
- Tips for Helping Your Children Cope with Child Custody Battles
- Tips on Filing for Child Custody
- Treatments Options For Anxiety After Losing A Child Custody Case
- Types Of Child Custody
- Understanding Child Custody Laws: A Brief Guide for Divorced Parents
- Various Child Custody Options: Guide for Divorcing Parents
- What Are The Effects Of Child Custody Cases On Children
- What are Your Child Custody Rights as a Father?
- What Is Child Custody?
- What To Do When You Lose A Child Custody Case
- What You Need to Know about Temporary Child Custody
- Winning Child Custody Cases